Thoughts about words

An activist is any person with a platform who makes it a habit to be offended and then to seek revenge on behalf of another person. This has more impact on society than those who act offended on behalf of another just to do some virtue signaling. In the latter case, it’s a matter of showing off for friends and family. In the former, it’s trying to use one's influence or celebrity to get the offender fired, chastised or cancelled in some other way. 

An example comes from the TV show America’s Got Talent. Gabriel Union, a judge at the time, along with the host “were upset with how...offensive issues were not addressed, including reports of an offensive joke made when [Jay] Leno made a guest appearance on the show.” One of his jokes referred to serving dog meat at a Korean restaurant. “She demanded that Leno be reported and wanted to increase the ratio of Asian staffers working there."

Having never seen her (or heard of her), I wondered what part of Korea she came from that she was so offended. Wikipedia lists her as American, born in Omaha. But it also lists her as an activist, which explains the outrage. You can’t maintain activist credentials unless you are prepared to seek out and try to remedy every possible case of apparent injustice. What used to be considered humor, perhaps in bad taste, is now cause for condemnation and reparations. Any ill-advised wise crack can brand you as a racist – apology expected, but it won’t do you any good, as a vocal minority demand that you be fired anyway.

Notice how these activists are all so well off that they have the luxury of indulging in this hobby – a kind of self-righteous bullying.

On another subject, notice how in the first paragraph I used “impact” as a noun. Notice also in day-to-day life how often people use impact as a verb. In the weather report the cold front will impact the temperatures or the snow will impact driving conditions. In sports the number of players on injured reserve impacted the performance of the team. In health news: “CMV impacts Newborns.” In an insurance notice: “This change does not impact any benefits.”

I have a theory of why every situation seems to be impacted (as if they were all wisdom teeth). The confusion in usage between the words effect and affect is often listed among the most common errors in English. So people have found an easy solution to the problem by avoiding them not only in writing, but also speaking. The snow may affect something – or will it effect something? – Who cares, just say impact. It sounds more forceful anyway.

Finally, what is an artist? An artist is anyone who calls himself an artist. Duct tape a banana to a wall and you are an artist. Take the banana down and eat it and you are also an artist. When something is so subjective as art, visual or performance, does the word really have any meaning anymore?

Perhaps it means that any time we make a mistake or violate a norm, we can claim as a defense that we are artists practicing our art. Tell your questionable joke and when people object, just say it was art. You were only trying, through irony, to elicit a teachable moment and to positively impact society. 

Why Is This So Important?

The behavioral model is very important for a number of reasons.  One is that the focus on behavior moves the discussion away from personal attacks.  If a person’s behavior is good, it is recognized as such, to encourage more of the same.  If a person’s behavior is poor, the discussion is not about attitude, motives or intentions; it’s about what changes to behavior will make him or her more successful.

Another important aspect of the model is the insistence that we all improve behavior in the five key dimensions.  This is no longer optional.  The world is getting more complex at an accelerated rate.  We cannot face that complexity with the same casual approach that suited our ancestors even a few generations ago.

Eric Schmidt, Executive Chairman of Alphabet’s board of directors, the parent company of Google, made an interesting observation at a technology conference in 2010:  “Every two days now we create as much information as we did from the dawn of civilization up until 2003.”  And that was 7 years ago!  He added that he doesn’t believe people are ready for what’s coming in terms of technology.  Of all that information how much is accurate or even useful?  Yet we are exposed to so much more every day at an increasingly alarming pace and must cope with it.

How did our grandparents deal with the fear of phishing emails or identity theft, traffic light cameras or drones and other invasions of privacy?  They didn’t.  Was anyone concerned about teen cyber-bullying or “sexting” even a few years ago?  In years gone by we had locks on our doors instead of security systems, and we thought hacking meant you had a bad cough, not that your savings or personal information might have been compromised.  No one was “addicted” to their “device.”  The frequency and stress level over the latest health news or food warnings were significantly lower.   The world didn't screech to a halt when the computers crashed.  And today credit cards, home equity loans and other financial tools make it so much easier to go into debt and stay there.

What about the avalanche of advertising we face?  The ad-blocker on my browser counts the ads as it blocks them.  One day I made note of the time as I caught up on (and stored and disposed of) personal email.  In 30 minutes the software blocked 97 ads.  That’s someone trying to sell me something at a rate of more than 3 times per minute.  Advertising exposure within our society is exploding.

Here is another example.  Last week I received an email telling me I may be a “Class Member” in a lawsuit against Staples “if between March 24, 2009 and April 25, 2017, you [1] bought a Rewards-eligible product and a non-Rewards eligible product in the same transaction, [2] used an item-specific coupon on the non-Rewards eligible product, and [3] were negatively impacted by Staples’ pro rata coupon accounting.”  If I don’t want to opt out of the settlement and I submit a claim form, I would be “eligible to receive $10 in Staples Rewards.”  (Further reading told me the class representative – I think that means the guy who sued – will get $5,000 and the law firm will receive $500,000 in fees and cost.)

How in the world do I know if I was negatively impacted?  Should I pull out all my Staples receipts for the last eight years to check?  Just reading this and trying to understand it is not worth $10 of my time, no less filling out an online form.  Yet apparently this stuff is happening every day to punish companies for apparently shady activities, although they admit no wrongdoing and settle to avoid the hassle.

I read recently that if everyone took the time to read only the privacy policies on all the websites visited, the annual cost in lost work time would be over $780 billion.  And that doesn’t even address what rights we might be signing away when we check the box without reading the even longer “terms and conditions.”

We must face it.  The world is getting more complex at a speed nearly impossible to keep up with.  People think technology is wonderful as they play games on their phones, but the technology is a double-edged sword with significant dangers.  As the robots are coming for our jobs and the hackers are stealing our data, the degree of critical thinking, discipline, responsibility, economic understanding, and perspective that served humanity in the past will no longer cut it.  We must do better or be overwhelmed.

More on Those "Haters"

Several weeks ago I mentioned how everyone loves to accuse opponents of being haters.  When someone opposes something or denies “rights” they are automatically labeled.  Not only is this opposite of the spirit of the behavioral model, where we address the actions and not the person, it is also often far from accurate and certainly not constructive.

Consider how people ordinarily act toward people they hate.  Do they see the object of their hatred making mistakes and try to step in to correct those mistakes, or do they rejoice at the fact that those they hate are making mistakes and will face the consequences in the future?  The logical answer is the latter.  They want to see the people they hate fail.  

If you see a loved one smoking or abusing drugs, you try to help them quit, knowing that what they are doing now will likely catch up to them in the long run.  That opposition is not an act of hatred.  Although the constant nagging may not seem like love to the person with the problem, it’s not inspired by hate; it’s just the wrong approach.  Likewise, parents tell their children to wait until they’ve eaten their meal before having dessert because they love them and want them to stay healthy.  They deny their children the opportunity to make the mistakes and develop bad habits.  Certainly they are not cooperating with their children’s wishes, but their motive is not hateful.

This logic easily applies to family and friends, but what of strangers?  Strangely enough, some people believe that God has ordered them to take this busybody approach to the decisions of others.  Find in the Old Testament, Book of Ezekiel, for example:  “When I say to the wicked, ‘You wicked, you must die,’ and you do not speak up to warn the wicked about their ways, they shall die in their sins, but I will hold you responsible for their blood.  If, however, you warn the wicked to turn from their ways, but they do not, then they shall die in their sins, but you shall save your life.”  (So, some actions of interference or denial may be cases of doing one's duty or trying to avoid future punishment rather than of hate.)

Think about the people who protest, like those outside abortion clinics or those who oppose same-sex marriage or Occupy Wall Street.  No question some of these people are filled with hate, but I would guess it is not a majority.  Most of these people think they are doing the right thing.  They take their stance based on their values or their understanding of how the world works (or should work).  They are trying to make things better and prevent other people from making mistakes that they will pay for in this life or the next.  This can hardly be considered hateful.

Before jumping to the conclusion about motives, or accepting the opinions of others about motives of an individual or a group, it’s important to think about the situation carefully.  Opposition does not usually spring from hating.

That’s why the behavioral model demands that we deal with behavior only.  Attribution of any motive is unacceptable and a waste of time.  We don’t fire an employee for a bad attitude; we fire an employee because, after numerous attempts to correct the situation, he failed to behave as required.  It makes no sense to try to attribute the failure to attitude or any other personal attribute.  The behavior is unacceptable.

Likewise, if we dismiss political or personal disagreements by assigning motives or labels, we are wasting time and have not moved forward in resolving the disagreement.  Of course, in today’s society it seems that the only resolution sought is one of bullying the opposition into submission with personal attacks and accusations – I win, you lose, problem solved!  But the real problem remains.  That’s why without the behavioral model America will continue it’s downward slide.

Political Campaigns

We are deep into the campaign season, and everyone knows what that means – attack ads and name-calling.  We will hear how A is a socialist, B is a radical, C is an extremist, D is a flip-flopper and someone else is a racist.  It will continue until we are sick of it and finally go to the polls, hold our noses to vote for the lesser of two evils; then breathe a sigh of relief when it’s over.  Why does this happen and why does it seem to be getting worse? – Because it works! – and it works because we let it!

This habit of name-calling and hurling insults is contrary to all the principles of this blog.  Everyone skilled in dealing with a child, a pet, an employee or any relationship, knows to praise or criticize the behavior, not the individual.  This minimizes defensiveness and focuses on what needs to change.  What's needed to really solve America's problems is a behavioral rather than a political approach, but politicians continue to sling mud and make promises.  We react because too few people understand that it's our job, not theirs to fix America.  And politicians are not alone in trying to co-opt our power.

We let politicians tell us the solutions to our so-called crises.  We let advertisers tell us what we need and when to buy it.  We let advocacy groups convince us that we are victims and need their help.  We let the news media tell us what we should worry about.  For this the politicians get re-elected, the advertisers make sales quotas, the advocacy groups get our donations, the media gets an audience, and we accept the situation while America heads in the wrong direction.

Only by improving our own behavior can we take control and get better results.  With a little more critical thinking and perspective we can ignore the hype, buying those items that add value to our lives while avoiding wasteful use of our time and money.  With a little more discipline and responsibility we can improve our physical and financial health without depending on government or other groups, and without blaming fast food, the banks, big business or any other convenient scapegoat.  With a little more economic understanding we can discount their magic-money-tree promises and force people to deal with us honestly.  This is just a brief summary of the many benefits of practicing the behavioral model.  In subsequent postings I will continue to provide examples and ask readers to look for examples in their own experience.

As more people understand and apply this model, we will take back power from those groups, uncovering the flaws in their arguments.  We will demand behavioral explanations and actively discredit personal attacks and the other distractive tactics of politicians and advertising.  We will make better choices, freeing ourselves from the influence and mandates of others.  It’s not easy staying focused on the key dimensions, skeptically questioning poorly-supported assertions, being responsible for our actions, holding ourselves to higher standards and continually challenging the notion that someone else can run our lives better than we can, while using more and more of our money to do it.  Sure, it's difficult, but the rewards are tremendous!

Please help spread the word.  If you agree with the ideas in these posts, send this link to everyone you know – http://realamericansolutions.blogspot.com/.  Help build critical mass behind this movement.

It’s our choice.  Either we continue to react to them, or we force them to respond with honesty and substance rather than insults and accusations.  We can take back the power.  Otherwise, the same behavior will reap the same consequences.

The Behavioral Model

Part of my management training over many years in business included interviewing, assessing, and performance evaluation.  We were taught to “cite behavior” when making observations or giving feedback.  We were always reminded (and reminded each other) that the purpose was to solve problems by improving behavior.  It was not about the person, but what the person said or did.  You don’t get good customer service by lecturing on attitude or motivation.  You get it by describing specific words and actions either as good examples (recognition) or as weak examples (correction) and contrasting them with what is desired.  Similarly parenting training teaches criticize the behavior and not the child.  Done right, it works.

I propose to use this same approach to address the larger problems Americans face today to show how most of those problems are behavior-based. By design this behavioral approach bans name-calling, accusing and many other unproductive behaviors we see from our politicians and interest groups. No wonder nothing is getting fixed! By using this model, we take the solution out of the hands of the government and put it back into the hands of the people. Thus, I am taking no political sides – the only reason government gets involved is a broad lack of understanding this new model provides.

What we have in America today is not a food safety problem or a childhood obesity epidemic or a healthcare crisis or financial meltdown or retirement security crisis, or run-away litigation, or a failed educational system, or a drug problem, or too many guns or not enough guns, etc. What we have are the consequences of faulty behaviors that can be divided into 5 key dimensions.  Changing certain behaviors would take us a long way toward solving nearly all these issues.

Remember, the assumption is that the majority of our biggest societal problems stem from these core behavioral issues. I will supply positive or negative examples each week from the local or national news, advertising, or from personal experience, not to criticize, but to develop an understanding of how to use this approach to effectively understand, address and deal with these so-called “crises.”

Here are the dimensions with a brief description of each. 

Understanding the Economic Process:  We are all connected economically.  As the economy expands everyone benefits to some extent.  When there is waste everyone pays.  There is no magic money tree to provide benefits with no future payment due.  Eventually we are all on the hook, and the burden is usually greater on those who can least afford it.

Discipline:  Many things in life are simple to understand but not easy to do.  Dieting is the prime example – eat less, exercise more – but how many keep looking for the easy answer, one that promise big results for little effort?

Responsibility:  Admit my failures, pay my debts and don’t look for others to blame.  It’s about doing the job I signed up for.  Sometimes life in America seems like a buffet line where people fill their own plates and then sit down at the table to complain about the meal.  They claim to be victims and look for someone else to bail them out.

Critical Thinking:  Use logic, not feelings to solve problems.  There is difference between facts/evidence on one hand and endorsements /stories on the other.  We waste a lot of time and money on unproven remedies or by following our gut reactions.

Perspective:  When I have perspective, I separate the important from the trivial, the substantial from the artificial.  I don’t profess one set of values and live my life differently.  I put proper emphasis on possessions/events and practice moderation.

Strong behavior (words, actions, choices) in these categories leads to positive outcomes.  Overall weak performance will cause the problems and crises to continue to pile up.  Simple, everyday examples show symptoms of problems that build over time into major failures.  Not recognizing the underlying behavioral factors has led us to ineffective solutions, more controversy and increasingly uncivil discourse.

Look for new examples and discussion every Monday and Friday.