The Marketing Pitch

Generally speaking, marketing is the art of getting us to buy stuff.  In doing so they have been accused of using all kinds of psychological tricks to convince us to spend our money.  Consumer protection groups argue that we are helpless against these sophisticated tricks.  But some of these so-called tricks are so obvious that everyone should be able to see through them easily.

The first example came through the mail, a little postcard asking questions about my utility bill.  “Did you enjoy paying your bill this month?  Did you know you may be paying too much?”  Finally, the company will let us in on “what the utility companies may not want you to know.”  All I have to do to save big money is attend a free steak dinner and seminar to learn about amazing technology developed by NASA, now available to the general public.

Well, I don’t know about all utility companies, but the ones I have experience with urge me to use less and are willing to help me learn how I can do that.  Many years ago when I lived in Wisconsin, the electric utility had a program offering reduced price CFL bulbs to replace the less efficient incandescent bulbs.  My current electric utility gives away the even more efficient LED bulbs free to their customers at various events and sends e-mail reminders about their free energy inspection programs.  There is nothing to indicate that the electric or gas companies are keeping secrets from me.  Rather they are more than willing to help me conserve.

Further suspicion arises when I read that spouses must attend.  Doesn’t that just make it more difficult to say “No, thank you” and walk away?  And where is the money for two steak dinners coming from?  Clearly the people who become customers have the cost of their dinners, plus the cost of the dinners of those who do not participate, baked into the price of that amazing new technology.

These are not difficult deductions to make by reading the postcard.  Are that many people unaware or not thinking?  Apparently so, or they wouldn’t continue this marketing approach!

I get the same feeling about the seminar leaders who want to tell us the secrets Wall Street doesn’t want us to know.  In that case, why do they use their time running seminars instead of using it to employ those very secrets to get richer?

The second example came one morning as I was glancing up at a series of ads running on TV.  The TV was muted, but I saw actors dancing around with purplish sparkles flying through the air.  Wait a minute!  These people were selling caffeine!  But it wasn’t just the white tablet I remember from the 1970s; it was special caffeine – with purplish sparkles – and it came from green tea.

Is caffeine from green tea different from caffeine in ordinary tea or coffee or cola or any other source?  Wikipedia enlightens:  “Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant of the methylxanthine class. It is the world's most widely consumed psychoactive drug.”  It doesn’t sound like there are varieties of caffeine, some better than others. 

At a time when many people are so concerned about putting “chemicals” into their bodies or even using chemicals to fertilize their vegetables, is it conceivable that they would be buying chemical pills?  Maybe caffeine is in a different category?

But caffeine is a chemical and a drug with possible side effects that include:  “irregular heartbeat, chest pain, flushing, palpitations, rapid heartbeat, agitation, dizziness, hallucinations, headache, insomnia, irritability, psychosis, restlessness, rash, increased pressure in the eye, and frequent urination.”  It also increases the risk of high blood pressure when combined with certain medications.

Well, I was so surprised that I didn’t remember to write down the brand being advertised, so I did a web search on caffeine/pills/green tea and found this website listing 14 brands and “flavors” of caffeine pills.  There are so many exotic ways to sell caffeine with "magic" ingredients and vague promises, but those promises send you to a footnote way at the bottom of the page that reads, “Disclaimer: These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Product results may vary from person to person.”  It’s still only caffeine – really a substitute for not getting enough sleep – but dressed up with a special bonding matrix, natural everything, green tea extract, ginseng and more.

Is it really true that promising to reveal questionable secrets or packaging a product to make it sound more natural constitutes such a strong lure?  Some clever marketing campaigns may employ sophisticated psychological persuasion techniques, but many, if not most, are transparent to anyone paying a little attention.